Merry Christmas!

Sometimes I Feel Like The Evil Monkey

*points at you and bares my teeth*

New Year's Resolutions

This will most likely be one of my last posts before the New Year.  So what better way than to list things I should be doing all along but don't until now. Enjoy!

1. Get a haircut but nothing more than an inch. (Hey! Gotta start out small!)
2. Thoroughly clean out my car - while not messy.. it is not spotless.
3. Explore my new neighborhood more.  I still don't know what is up the hill after I turn left to go to my house.
4. Let go of this past year.  I think I have already done this one but just to make sure.
5. Take a vacation that does not include visiting people.  I usually do this but this year I have not. 
6. Get started on finishing my degree... Class starts on January 9th... so I am looking good for this one.
7. I just signed my townhouse agreement for 1 year.  I think it's time that I get a little more settled in to the place.  More pictures on the walls, etc.
8. Trust people just a little bit more... while being cautious with my heart.  (Finish out with almost the impossible.)

Hmm... Eight.... that looks good enough.  Anyway... one last thing to make you laugh... My favorite part is where they are standing, facing each other making the boxes bounce.  LOL!  Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year! 

I Love Geeks Thursday

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Yeah.. I have no idea why I titled my post this but it's giving me ideas.  Since I won't find out about my interview until after the New Year... I have to come up with something else.. I think I might take the last week of the year off from posting.. so tomorrow will be my last post of the year.  Anyway, today is going extremely slow.  Here are some things to keep you and partially me entertained. 

This video is old and I am sure many of you have seen it but I still find it funny.  I don't know what it is.... Those crazy Swedes!  He is far too pretty to be a guy but just the fact that he made up a song with "DotA" and Ventrilo.. /clap

This is the new video from Fallout Boy "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race".  I got introduced to them by my ex-friend Evan sometime last year before they got really trendy.  I still like them for their dorky-ness factor.  Plus, Pete Wentz's self-indulgent Emo goodness... all 5 feet.. one.. well.. all 5 feet of him. 

Happy Holidays!

Highly addictive game.... Snowcraft!  I can make it to Level 5...

*Frustrated Scream*

SO!  This morning before I was taken out to lunch... I decided to write the recruiter in charge of my position.  This was her exact response:

"Brittany,

Glady's team will have their decision when we come back from the shutdown and I will call you either way.

Happy Holidays!!!" 

Ugh.  Shoot me.  Well.. At least the rest of the week I won't be looking for an email.  I don't know.  I'm trying to find some good in it.  I just wish I knew already.  If I didn't get it.. I didn't get it!  No big deal... I just would like to know. 

Christmas Spirit

I have yet to hear on my job... I am practically climbing the walls to find out.  Maybe I didn't get it.. to go through all that and not get it will be rough but.. oh well.  Anyway!  It's time to get in the Christmas spirit people.  I don't care if you're not ready.  It's Christmas damnit and you're gonna like it! I'll start off with my favorite Christmas song.. Carol of the Bells. 

Next up is an animated video by Harry Connick Jr. called the Happy Elf.  I love his music... he is like a modern day Frank Sinatra. 

One of my favorite cheesy movies is Love Actually.  Most of the movie is centered around Christmas.  The little kid is so cute~

I'll end with a classic... Bing Crosby's White Christmas. 

Under Construction

Please forgive my site at the moment...  I am having technical difficulties. 

I Was Right. (An Emo Post)

That I would be fine tomorrow and I am.  Last night was almost theraputic in a way.  I could let it go... and be happy that I am letting it go.  I would have done anything for that man.  One intelligent conversation could have helped it.  But it didn't happen.  I am accepting that I got fucked over.  It was half my fault.  But the place that I landed after falling away from him was so much better than before I met him.  He could say fuck all about it afterwards... blame me... not care anymore... he probably moved on after a week of me being gone... rip at the scar he is creating to protect himself from his real feelings... but I left him.  I got out.  I changed my life again.  And now it's time to let it go. 

 

"I wanna heal... I wanna feel... what I thought was never real..."

"Thanks for acting like you cared.. and making me feel like I was the only one... It's nice to know we had it all.. Thanks watching as I fall... and letting me know we were done." 

"You had me, you lost me, you're wasted, you cost me... I don't want you here messing with my mind."

"If I just breathe, let it fill the space between, I'll know everything is alright..."

 

 

Good Monday

Today is going well.. steadily busy.. no news on my interviews.  Christmas is one week away.  I am still not getting my hopes up for this job... but... god I wish I could land it.  Anyway... I don't have much else to say seeing as I posted twice on the weekend.. which I never do.  Here is something to make you laugh...

And for those who did not see it... Here is the clip of my mom's husband Erik almost blowing up Johnny Knoxville.  He is the guy on the left of the rocket in the black shirt and hat. 

Down And Sorry For Not Posting

I got extremely busy on Friday and I wasn't able to post.  I had my final interview with a lady from the group I would be joining.  She was very nice and just explained to me how the group was structured.  I think I might hear something next week... I still think I have a good shot and I am trying so hard to not get my hopes up. 

It rained a little today... which would normally make me happy but for some reason I just wasn't.  Stressing out over things and questioning everything... I am sure it is nothing and I will be fine tomorrow.  For a bit I felt how I was in Florida... not myself... sad... hopeless.  But I got out of that... It was my "Escape from Alcatraz"-like flight from Florida.  Leaving really early in the morning... driving north from Orlando... almost as fast I could.. outrunning my sadness.  The car was filled to the brim with my stuff... but it felt very empty.  Who was going to love me again... Who would take me in after this spectacle... Who could I trust again...  I trusted Kody and it got me nowhere.  I am sure to this day he still blames everything on me.  I heard from a few people that he thought I cheated on him... which is beyond absurd.  I took care of him... I would stay up later than I probably should have just to make him dinner when he got home from work at 1am.  I cleaned his apartment from ceiling to floor.  I would listen to him and his opinions.  I would have done anything for him.  He never lifted a finger when I came to live with him... and that was fine with me.. I like that role.  I would have done anything to make him happy.  A month or so after I got back, him and I started talking on WoW.  He wanted to mull over what happened and what went wrong.  In the end, we didn't agree completely... but we did settle on one fact.  If we had both looked up and into each others eyes.... hmm... If he had looked up and saw that I just needed him to hold me because I had just left my life behind for him.  If I had looked up and saw that I needed let go whatever I was holding onto and trust him... maybe things would be different now.  We both made mistakes... Four months later I am ready to let it go.  It's like a big deep breath is being released from me. 

I can't wait for the New Year.  Hmm.. maybe that's it.  I really just want this year to be over with.  I have grown so much and now I know what I want and don't want.  I'll just shut up and be thankful. 

Emo is pretty bad but Christian Emo is worse.  I still love this song.

Religion Is Fucked Up.

This is a guy with Kirk Cameron describing God's wonders in creation........... in the creation of a banana... WHAT THE FUCK. 

/swoon

*CAUTION: Girly Moment*

Mr. Edward Norton

 

The Long, Long Process

So I thought I was at the end of the interview process... turns out.. NOPE!  I received an email from the hiring manager letting me know that they would like me to meet with one more person.  /sigh  I guess this means I am still in the game...  Anyway, it's Thursday and it is possibly going to rain this weekend.  I am going to try to finish up my Christmas shopping and prepare for the next couple of weeks.  Time off soon... yay...

Funny But Cute...

My Love For...

Ansel Adams

I have always loved black and white photography.  I like simple things.  Ansel Adams photographed in a style called "straight photography".  In this style the emphasis is not on the development of the film in a lab but the clarity of the lens used.  This produced sharp, simple images that showed depth.  He is the creator of the "Zone System" which helped photographers to control exposure and development in order to bring to life the visual they wanted to achieve.  Below is an example of the Zone System. 

Ansel was also an active environmentalist.  He fought for parks around his hometown of San Francisco, including Yosemite National Park and the Big Sur coastline.  His images were used to promote conservationism and by the Sierra Club and the Wilderness Society.

I fell in love with Ansel Adams when I was younger but only came to appreciate his work when I visited Boston last year.  My friend Kelly and I ran through the rain after getting off the subway to the Museum of Fine Arts.  We waited about an hour (behind a hot guy but still..) just to get into the museum.  It was well worth it considering it happened to be the weekend of an Ansel Adams exhibit. 

My favorite photograph is actually of him.  He is standing on top of a Woodie in Yosemite National Park. I apologize for the quality of this picture... ironic that I am talking about photography and yet the picture I took is awful. 

Slow News Day...

No job news... No good news... No news.  Meh.  Very busy at work.  Preparing for the end of the year.  I have a break in my day.. and my boss is forcing me to go to lunch so I might as well post... Something to laugh at.. Matt Damon doing an impression of Matthew McConaughey.

This is a guy playing Counter Strike: Source using the Wii Remote... uhm.. wierd.... He sucks but.. I think I would suck too if I had to use that. (Shut up Ian - I know I suck anyway).

Don't Worry - I Am Still Breathing

This morning I woke up really early and it was the feeling similar to Christmas morning - which is ironic as Christmas is right around the corner.  I feel like I at least have a good shot at this job... and it would make the closing of this year so much better.  More security... more money... more of everything.  I would enjoy working with Global Clinical Development mainly because it would be interesting work.  I can do networks and servers and infrastructure.  Even though it is a global operation, it still gets to be mundane.  Anyway, I will drink to hope. 

I <3 Emo Kids.  Well, sort of.  I certainly love this song... it's performed by AFI whose lead singer wears more eye makeup than I ever have.  And I was in dance companies with elaborate costume makeup......

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick.. the one that makes me scream she said... the one that makes me laugh she said and threw her arms around my neck...

Brittany - Undefeated Champion Of The World

So today I get up and I'm like.. "hmm.. I feel like wearing my new outfit."  This consists of a brown knee length skirt, a brownish beige striped dress shirt that is a tad on the sheer silky side and a cream colored tank top underneath it with, of course, my brown strapy heels.  WELL.  Thankfully I thought to dress nice because I came into work and started looking at my email...... I made it to the second round of interviews. (!!!!!)  <-- That's me freaking out.  This afternoon I meet the team's boss' boss.  I can't believe it!  This should be the last round of interviews... I am going to ask the hiring manager today.  Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*Holds Breath And Turns Blue*

I just received a call from someone I used to work for.  Apparently there is a company that is checking my background and facts from my resume.  And also apparently... this is one of the last steps before they send out an offer.

Damn Cold Night

I've got nothing.  Friday.  Yay.  Payday.  Yay.  Tonight - bunch of cleaning and sorting.  Tomorrow - Rain (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!) and some shopping.  Sunday - More rain (the heavens willing..) and pedicures with mom.  As always... I am out for the weekend.. See YA'LL on Monday.  Until then.. enjoy one of Canada's better exports.....

 

He was a boy,

She was a girl.

Can I make it any more obvious?

He wanted her,

She'd never tell.

Secretly, she wanted him as well.

Got To Laugh

For some reason I woke up this morning at 5:30am and couldn't get back to sleep.  Possibly nervous about my interviews today but I don't know.  It's going to be relatively easy.  My boss is visiting a vendor in LA (he wanted me to go with him but I found some excuse seeing as I didn't want to start my drive down to LA at 6am and then sit in traffic until 7pm).  I have two interviews, 1 at noon and the other at 2pm.  Should pass with flying colors.  But I am still nervous. 

Here is a treat for my football-loving friends.  Yes, it disparages my team... but it's one of my favorite Simpsons episodes.  You get to see them in their old uniforms too.  Anyway...  GO BRONCOS!

Finished Again

My interviews are done.  I think I have at least a good shot at it.  At least I am getting more and more comfortable during the interviews.  They praise me more than interview.. which is wierd... I dunno.... I hear things like you have an amazing skill set... you have a great background... you're versed in many areas... etc.  Well does that mean I am right for the job?  I don't know. 

No, It's Not Called Rubber Duckie.

Today is going better.  Aside from the fact that I grabbed the wrong set of heels *sad face*.... I got some sleep last night and was able to get up on time to dress for my interview.  It's at 1:30pm today with one of the Executive Directors of Global Development.  I am getting a bit nervous... it's a one on one interview... Hmm.. anyway... I have some research to do.. Until I return.. enjoy this cute random video.. Kiwi!

Here It Goes Again...

Not a very good mood right now.  I am not sure why.  Still can't sleep much... and the pain is making me irritable...  The pain killers I have only make me sleepy but its not a restful sleep... In two and a half weeks I will have one full week off plus New Years day.  Fun stuff.  Oh, and it's patch day. So yay broken mods and high server queues!!

This video always makes me cheery.  Maybe it's my love for dorks or maybe it's because they choreographed a routine on treadmills..............

Wishy Washy

My asthma is in full force today and I am slowly suffocating.  Click here to see why.  Moorpark is about 5 minutes from where I live and the fire is expected to come my way.  Fun Fun! This morning was so great let me tell you... I carry my heels and purse downstairs to the garage and I think.. Oh I forgot my glasses.... so I set my stuff down and run back upstairs.  On my way back out to the car I pick up my purse but I LEAVE MY HEELS...... and proceed to drive all the way to work.. park in my parking space and go to get out of the car barefoot.  This is when I realize what I have done.  Twenty minutes later I arrive back at work.... what a damn day...

This weekend was... non-eventful... wait.. I think.. yeah non-eventful.  My warlock got to 60 and I passed the 400g mark (extremely big deal).  I am trying to rest and get better as much as possible. But even last night I had a pain in my throat that was enough to make tears come to my eyes.  The week ahead is an interesting one... I have interviews set up for Wednesday and Thursday.  School registration on Friday... and some doctor appointments.  I feel like Brian today.....

**Correction**

I feel like THIS....

Passed Out Giggling - I Love Babies

Seriously... I had to shut my door because I was laughing so hard.

Christmas Wish List

I am very tired and seem to be sick this morning.  Just finishing up a couple things at work and then I should be heading home or to the doctor.  Thankfully it's Friday and I've got a few days to rest. 

---

As it is now December 1st... what I consider the start of the holiday season... Here is my Christmas Wish List..  Santa if you're reading this.. I don't deserve any of it.  Coal will be fine.

1. Canon Powershot 6.0-Megapixel S3 IS Digital Camera - I have mentioned this before... It's number one on my list but I think I am just going to buy it for myself.
2. Anything that includes Rubber Duckies: Bathing Beauty Spa Kit or Polar Fleece Ruffle Side PJ Pants in Ducks with White Trim - I like only certain kinds of Rubber Duckies... I am very picky. 
3. Rainstick - Give me rainy weather... I'll do anything.. just.. please.  Give me clouds, rain, and cold.  I need it! What is a rainstick? Click here.  
4. All Expenses Paid Trip to Boston - Yeah.. I know.. I am just dreaming...
5. Stemless Red Wine Glasses or Williams All-Purpose Balloon Wineglasses - I have tons of martini glasses but only a couple glasses for wine.  I don't drink that much but every once and awhile I will have a glass of red wine. 
6. Anything from ThinkGeek.com:  USB Mini Desktop Aquarium or Aggro Tee or The Goldfarmer Tee - Okay so I am a bit of a geek.  Granted I don't know A LOT about WoW... and I've never seen the Star Wars movies... I am still a geek.  A geek that is very girly and dresses really nice.  Most of the time.

Interestingly enough... I've already done my shopping for everyone... Just have to wrap everything in brown postal paper and tie them up with fabric ribbon!  Let the holiday season begin!

Windy and Cold

Very slow day here because all of management had a big meeting to go to. I am going to try to stay awake and get some of my projects done. Here is something to make you giggle.

*Turns Over And Goes Back To Sleep*

I really need to fix my sleeping pattern.  I have these very vivid dreams both good and bad and I don't sleep through the night.  My office was moved today before I got in.  Thankfully I've only been here a few months and I don't have a lot of boxes yet.  Yesterday I had an interview for that higher up position.  It was really strange because they spent most of the interview praising me for my work than actually interviewing me.  I don't want to get my hopes up but I think I definitely have a shot.  They said they would be making an offer within two weeks and definitely hiring before the end of the year.  It would just make the though of the new year so much better.  Either way, things with my current boss are going well. 

I am running a fever now so I am going to take some Tylenol and get back to work.  Fun stuff. 

Thoughts?

Iranian President Becomes a Pen-pal to the US

I don't know... It is strange to read a semi-sensible letter written by a person who has committed such atrocities against humanity and women in particular.  Not all of it makes sense.  It is a very long rambling letter.  The crap citing the Qur'an... please... when religion is brought into the equation it is never a good thing.  I guess it's just surprising that a person like this could be so clear in understanding possible feelings held by the citizens of the United States.  He also states some facts and not all of it is propaganda.  Just interesting in my opinion...

Awesome Flightless Vegetarian Sugar Glider

I woke up this morning once again groggy.  I am not sleeping well.  Too much on my mind.  I should stop that.  My first meeting of the morning started out slow... only about 3 people were in the room along with 2 people in Europe out of a list of 30 invited.  Five minutes in my boss shows up and all of a sudden people start trickling in and suddenly we have this huge meeting.  About half way through they mention that they need something done and I volunteer because it's Excel and they need the code for a macro checked for errors because it's not working properly.  Takes me like all of two seconds so I volunteered.  That set off the guys in the Enterprise Command Center to IN FRONT OF MY BOSS... talk me up.. compliment me.. give thanks for the work I do.. etc etc.  I was so embarrassed but extremely pleased.  I just turned red and finished writing my notes.  But it felt good to be praised in front of my boss.  I enjoy working here so much but I don't think he has realized my full potential.  Slowly he is starting to realize what I am capable of.  Ironically enough, today at 3:00pm I have an interview for another higher up position within the company.  I would give anything to continue working for Geoff... but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards.

---

So, back when I was in high school I participated in many things.  I wasn't in the popular crowd.. I just was more.. middle of the road... good girl.. okay grades.. nothing spectacular.  But all through high school I was involved in some kind of activity.  Mainly dance and colorguard.  Dance is pretty self explanatory.  Colorguard.. most are not familiar with.  Guard is a mix of dance coupled with rifles, flags and sabres (swords).  They are mainly seen with marching bands... they perform at half time shows during football season.  The most athletic I have ever been was when I was in guard.  Throwing a 5lb piece of wood in the air while completing a pirouette into an arabesque may sound and look simple but it is quite the opposite.  My first year there they had a new guard director.  He asked and received a really big budget for us and in turn he made us into the most popular, most successful colorguard in California for 3 straight years. (I left after the 3rd year.)  During the field season (basically the football season), we performed extremely elaborate shows.  Chess (Broadway Musical), Sweeney Todd (also Broadway) and finally Cleopatra.  Chess was our first taste of becoming really good and really popular.  Our costumes were long flowing gowns cut down the middle to allow our legs to move freely.  At the end of the show a field filled with 200+ people emptied behind about 10 flags.  It had a very dramatic effect.  Sweeney Todd featured 16 foot tall flags of a shimmering white fabric.  About 30 members of the guard carried them to the center of the field against a blood red drop shaped tarp and out of the middle of the flags came a girl wearing a white and silver gown (the show was about a barber that murders his customers).  Cleopatra had pyramid shaped tarps and giant feather fans.  That was my last show and it was physically demanding.  I was a rifle captain and was also on the sabre line which probably means nothing to anyone who is reading this but it was very hard.  We placed first in state all three years out of over 300+ groups.

In the spring it turned to what was called the court season.  These were more centered around dance and were highly competitive.  We traveled all over the country performing and competing.  My last year we performed Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  The floor was covered in a black tarp with these giant roll doors...  it was fast paced classical music and we placed really high that year.  Unfortunately, my parents weren't really involved in my high school days.  I don't think they knew exactly how good we actually were.  All they seem to remember is that I traveled and practiced a lot so I was gone most of the time.  It also cost A LOT of money.  Because of this I don't have many pictures from those days.  No videos.. just some scrapbook stuff.. and newspaper clippings when we kept winning.  I also performed in the Rose Parade which is seen on television across the nation on New Years Day.  THAT was nerve racking.  For 3 years all I did was dance.. weekends... most of summer vacation.. and afternoons up until 6pm I was practicing.  This at least earned me a letterman.  Anyway... the only thing I could find of my old colorguard is a show they did after I had graduated.  They aren't as good as we used to be because the director has left but it kind of shows what I used to do. 

e-Arms

I sleepily got up this morning... Took a shower... dressed for work.. got into the car... pulled out of the garage...... AND IT WAS RAINING!!!  I know.. I am stupid right?  It was just a drizzle and there is sunshine in the distance but it made so happy!  Bring on the cold weather and the rain...

My holiday was wonderful.  Well, it was quiet and I needed quiet for a few days.  The Broncos lost but... well.. read it for yourself here.  Other than that.. not much news to report.  I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and I should know when everything is going to start.  Work is quiet and my move is scheduled for Wednesday.  I'll be back later.

If I Could Be Any Animal I Would Be A...

...Sugar Gilder!

Over the weekend I got into a discussion with my 5 year old neighbor.  He was convinced that if he were a llama life would be "soooo" cool.  Why he felt this way I never got out of him... But I thought it was amusing so I am going to play along and act like a 5 year old.  I would want to be a sugar glider.  They are native to Australia but can now be found in many places as people sometimes keep them as pets.  Sugar gliders are basically flying squirrels but much more cute. 

While I am extremely afraid of heights, I have a feeling I wouldn't mind it so much if I flaps like these.  Jumping from branch to branch and then springing out into another tree.  May take some practice... but I could pull it off. 

Who wouldn't love a face like that..??  Sugar gliders eat mainly sap, nectar, fruits and veggies.  Occasionally..... they... eat bugs... mealworms... grubs...... but that's ok!  Maybe I could be a vegetarian sugar glider?

Oh and they are nocturnal.  I could enjoy the night life...  Plus I would have a nice bushy tail... who wouldn't want one of those??  I bet there is one guy who would love to keep me as a pet.....

Thanksgiving Eve

It's a very slow day at work but I don't mind so much.  I can catch up on some things and start moving my stuff into my new office.  I am not sure why I am being moved.  The new office is like an inch bigger if that.  Meh.  I still didn't sleep much.  But now I have a four day weekend to get all the sleep I want...

I have no idea why I like the following band.  Very trendy (sort of).  But I like this song. 

Stay tuned for my boring "What I am most thankful for.." List of the year. 

What I Am Thankful For... (A Boring List)

1. Family, friends and all that jazz.
2. Puppies, kittens and toddlers.  (You know you like em')
3. The time just before I fall asleep when the breeze comes through the window and I am safe and warm under the covers.
4. Country Apple Handsoap from Bath and Body Works.
5. Enjoying the game again and passing the 100 gold mark on one of my WoW characters.  (Trust me.. this is a big deal... girl likes to shop)
6. Butterflies in my stomach at someone's words. 
7. Being able to be myself around my friends with all my sarcastic humor goodness. 
8. Cold, overcast days with a hint of rain on the way. (Don't get many in California... but one can hope.)
9. Safety and security coupled with freedom and responsibility.
10. And last but not least............ I am most thankful for my decision to move to Florida.  HA! Wasn't expecting that were you?  Why is this one the best?  If I didn't move to Florida I wouldn't have left my job here in California.  I wouldn't have realized that I can make decisions and handle them on my own.  Even though I was with someone I was very much alone.  If I hadn't moved to Florida I never would have realized that I deserve better, much better, than the person I was with.  I thank him though for being the person he was.  He opened my eyes to the world outside of my own and I am forever grateful that he did.  I wouldn't have found out exactly what I want and more importantly what I don't want in a man and in a relationship.  I wouldn't have realized that I was settling for someone else.  That I am not going to conform to someone else's personality when I am extremely unhappy doing so.  I am also grateful that I admitted defeat and moved back home.  I found out who I really am... or at least who I want to be.  I am a work in progress. 

Happy Thanksgiving...

What I Am Thankful For... (A Boring List)

1. Family, friends and all that jazz.
2. Puppies, kittens and toddlers.  (You know you like em')
3. The time just before I fall asleep when the breeze comes through the window and I am safe and warm under the covers.
4. Country Apple Handsoap from Bath and Body Works.
5. Enjoying the game again and passing the 100 gold mark on one of my WoW characters.  (Trust me.. this is a big deal... girl likes to shop)
6. Butterflies in my stomach at someone's words. 
7. Being able to be myself around my friends with all my sarcastic humor goodness. 
8. Cold, overcast days with a hint of rain on the way. (Don't get many in California... but one can hope.)
9. Safety and security coupled with freedom and responsibility.
10. And last but not least............ I am most thankful for my decision to move to Florida.  HA! Wasn't expecting that were you?  Why is this one the best?  If I didn't move to Florida I wouldn't have left my job here in California.  I wouldn't have realized that I can make decisions and handle them on my own.  Even though I was with someone I was very much alone.  If I hadn't moved to Florida I never would have realized that I deserve better, much better, than the person I was with.  I thank him though for being the person he was.  He opened my eyes to the world outside of my own and I am forever grateful that he did.  I wouldn't have found out exactly what I want and more importantly what I don't want in a man and in a relationship.  I wouldn't have realized that I was settling for someone else.  That I am not going to conform to someone else's personality when I am extremely unhappy doing so.  I am also grateful that I admitted defeat and moved back home.  I found out who I really am... or at least who I want to be.  I am a work in progress. 

Happy Thanksgiving...

Hump Day

Newbury Park, CA

Partly Cloudy

On: November 21, 2006
Local Time: 08:44

Sunrise: 06:34
Sunset: 16:49
Current Temperature: 62°F
Low Temperature: 50°F
High Temperature: 72°F

Humidity: 47%

Wind Direction: E
Wind Speed: 4.8 km/h

 

Yes, another crappy day in California.  At least it's hump day.  I really did not want to get up this morning.  I spent most of the night tossing and turning.  I lay there.. first on one side... then I turn over... I think about things.. random things.. then I think "Okay you need to stop thinking and go to bed."  So then I start to doze off but I think in my head "Hey I'm starting to fall asleep.. that's good because if I don't go to sleep now I won't want to wake up early to shower...... blah blah blah..."  Then I am awake for another 20 minutes.  Rinse and repeat.  Yes, I am stupid.

 

I really need this break coming up.  To have a day off from work where I am not sick (well sick enough not to go to work) and not have a huge to do list... would be wonderful.  I am back again playing my priest.  Incredibly rusty... but I missed her.  I'll probably fool around with her this weekend.  No dance this weekend either.  Ahh... 9:30am meeting I must prepare.  Be back later.

Amusing WoW Commercial

Johnny Cash's cover of the Nine Inch Nails song "Hurt"

Preparing

I didn't see much action over the weekend.  But it's okay because that's just what I wanted.  Nice quiet weekend.  Two more days until Thanksgiving.  It is a short week for me.  Amgen gives Friday off as well... 4 days of the 4 F's.. nothing but food, football, family and fun.  Okay so maybe not the last F but I wanted something cheesy.  It should be quiet this year.  Help my mom cook and watch the Bronco game... Broncos lost last night... *Big Sad Face*  I ventured to the mall yesterday and spent some money.  Most of the stores were in heading into the holiday swing.  Consumerism at it's best.  Sadly I eat it up.  I put tons of thought into gifts.  If someone asks for a gift card... I get them a little something from that store, the gift card and then a little something else.  All neatly wrapped in brown paper and tied with fabric ribbon.  One thing I don't like though... It seems around Halloween the Christmas stuff gets put out in stores.  I really don't like that... It seems to rush the holiday season and in turn rush the end of the year. 

Click Here to view my new best friend.  This little baby will be mine very very soon... a sort of Merry Christmas/Happy New Year gift to myself for being such a trooper.  (Alright that is just the excuse I am giving.)  I am sure I am going flood this site with new pictures.  I just can't wait.  Okay.. enough dreaming.. back to work....  

The Real Funny Friday 2.0 + Music in the Morning

Since I blew my load with the last post I had to come up with something else.  For my funny entry I give you Gary the No Trash Cougar. The pretty clip much speaks for itself. 

Okay this next video...  Bear with me.  That's all I ask.  My music taste is very very broad.  One of my favorite musicians is John Mayer.  STOP - I know what you are thinking.  "Pop crap."  But if you really knew him you would understand he is much more than that.  Yes, his first couple albums were crap.  Then he came out with "Heavier Things" and explored the world of Blues with The John Mayer Trio.  He is an amazing guitar player.  An ex boyfriend of mine was dragged to his concert and pretty much pouted the entire time he was there.  But then he started to play the lesser known songs that I knew every word to.  Most of the crowd sat down or lost interest.  But it showed just how well he can play a guitar.  Acoustic and Electric.  My ex became an instant fan and this is saying a lot of guy who only listens to Led Zepplin and The Doors. 

I don't like John Mayer for his popular songs like "Your Body is a Wonderland" *vomit* and "No Such Thing".  I like him for "Split Screen Sadness" and "Wheel".  When you watch this video try not to feed into so much the words (some lines are good..) but listen to the acoustic guitar.  That's all him.  This is probably not his best song/video that I love the most.  But it is shot on PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) which is about 5 minutes from where I live now through the mountains.  It gives you a glimpse of California... Give it a chance at least. 

Ramblings...

I am not going to say much in this post.  I just need to ramble for a bit. 

My life has been turned upside down in the past year.  Which is good.  I needed a change.  Maybe not quite so drastic of change... but change nonetheless.  I am good right now... good job, good home, etc.  Financially I am "meh"... certainly on the road to recovery.  Today I have been so odd.  I have alot of options open to me.  But then on the other hand I feel old.  Then I have to slap myself and realize that some of my counterparts at work are 30..32..35+ I am 24... and I've only been here 2, almost 3 months.  As far as work and education goes, I could give up.  Marry the next guy that asks me and settle down.  Don't get me wrong... the biggest thing I wish to achieve is being a wife and a mom.  But right now I feel selfish.  I could put my social life on hold, I could push people away which I am known to do.  I could go off and just worry about me.  Go back to school, go back to working on myself first... 

I am torn between making a decision and risking the complications.  What if I lose everyone in the process of putting myself first?  Were they worth it to begin with?  If I take that financial hit and go back to school, will I regret it if I marry someone and settle down to be Mrs. Brittany Homemaker?  I am an intelligent girl but sometimes I don't think I am exercising that the way I should.  I could go back to school and finish my degree.  Sense of accomplishment all that crap sounds good.  Would people wait for me to get my act straight?  I have a lot of thoughts in my head... it's part of the reason I write on this site.  I am trying not to get dragged down but it's hard today. 

People have said things to me like... you are so amazing that you believed so much in your love and you moved out there but you were smart enough to realize that you should move back.  You're willing to go right back to loving someone even though you were hurt. You still believe... You still have faith.  WTF does that mean?  I was.. completely screwed over.  My heart completely broken.  It still is broken.  But it made me view my life from outside my small scope of the world.  It's the same thing for any other girl that has gotten hurt. 

Right now... I have that feeling of... I can do this.  I can commit to fixing myself and straightening out what I want.  I can do this.  Question is... will I ever get to the point where I come home to a lap I can lay my head down in?

Thursday NOT Friday

I was about to post Funny Friday 2.0 but apparently as I just now realized... it is in fact NOT Friday.  Crap.  Well here is my funny thing for today anyway.  My day isn't very exciting so I figured I might as well make people laugh.

This is one of my favorite clips from Family Guy.  Note the scoring method that Stewie goes by.  Notice he is scoring ACTUAL points - not fake points that he just gives himself!  My favorite part though is when he is like UH OH... UH OH.. DO I TAKE IT OUT OR LEAVE IT IN? Lol.. gets me everytime. 

A Little Help Over Here...

First person to name this fish gets a prize... I woke up this morning with a very sore swollen throat and puffy cheeks... I still have my wicked headache.  Wonderful.  Today is going to be so much fun!  I don't have anything too terribly positive to add at the moment.  Here is something good though...

I'm Sorry - This Is Just Funny

Dark and Twisty

Usually when I get to work in the morning I have time to sit down.. close my door... drink some tea... go over my emails.  But not today... running from meeting to meeting... Funniest thing ever - Guys arguing during a conference call.  No one can hear anything and me in the middle going "Okay guys can we get back on track..?"... Fun stuff.

All last night and most of the morning I have had a severe headache.  My doctor wants me to go in but I just don't have the time to take away work.  Not that they would keep me from going... but I am just so busy.  Okay, that and I hate being poked and prodded.  I really wish I just lived somewhere cold and cloudy. *cough* Seattle/Boston.  I wish it were dark out during the day.  I would be such a happy camper. 

Christmas Is Approaching...*

Yes, it is.  You can't deny it!  Last night I went through my Christmas box to put it into a plastic storage bin.  I found my star cookie cutter-like tree topper... christmas rubber duckies... a JOY candle set... peppermint candy tealights... and my solid silver snowman stocking hanger (say that 5 times fast). 

While on the subject of Christmas I asked a friend of mine if he enjoyed the holiday.  He basically said yes but he added he doesn't really need or want anything this year - at least nothing that can be given as a gift.  When I asked him to elaborate he explained that he wants kids, a meaningful relationship, and a better social life, none of which can be given in gift form.  As I was falling asleep I kept thinking about what he said.  If you could really give those things as a gift... would you?  Would you put it on your wish list along with new socks?  If it were really that easy...   who would you give it to? 

On Saturday, my mom and I went an outdoor mall to get a pedicure and shop for various things.  I had to wait for her at one point so I sat down on the fountain in the middle of the courtyard.  Next to me was a mom and a little girl looking at the water.  The little girl (she was not more than 3 years old) said just "wish" and her mom replied "I don't have any pennies."  I pulled out a couple pennies and gave it to the mom for the little girl to throw into the fountain.  It made her so happy.  She tossed them in with this huge smile on her face.  As she toddled away.. in that precarious almost going to fall or tip over 3 year old walk.. I was wondering what I would wish more.. if I was that mom or that 3 year old.  You're so innocent at 3 but the mom role and responsibility would be so wonderful.  In the end I think I decided on being the mom.  Hopefully someday...

Back to the whole Christmas thing... my answers for that.. If it were possible to give things like that as a gift, I probably would.  I love to give and make people happy.  Who would I give it to?  The first person would probably be the guy I was talking to about it all.  He is geniunely a nice guy, funny and intelligent.  After that a couple people who are very close to me.  I would just love to see them happy and content.  Would I ask for it?  Yeah... maybe just to speed things up a bit.  If only it were that simple.  

*Disclaimer:  The person I talk about in this post is not a boyfriend, someone I am dating, someone I am seeing... etc etc.  He is in fact what I call him.  A friend. 

Finally Friday

This has not been a good week.  Not a good week at all... I am just going through the motions and trying to get through the day.  At least I chose to wear jeans today... no skirt suits and heels...  After work I am going to have sushi with Kelly and then off to see Stranger Than Fiction.  Hopefully it's good.. here is a preview if you haven't seen it. 

I don't think I am going to do much this weekend.  Probably try to level my warlock as much as possible.  I hit 52 last night.. and even though people (stupid people) don't like her because she is a gnome.. I am enjoying playing her.  Mind you I suck pretty badly... I still have fun.  Maybe I can bribe Chris or Ian to help me... Kirk is MIA.. wish he would come back.  So yeah.. Dance and a pedicure on Saturday.  Football Sunday.  I am probably going to watch this game because it's Denver @ Oakland.  How funny will that game be?  Jake the snake better not blow it.  Oh man... meeting in 9 minutes.  Grr.

Dirty Blonde(r)

In a spurt of trying to make myself feel better... I am going to get my hair highlighted tonight before I go out.  Right now I am kind of dull dirty blonde.  This means along with blonde highlights I have a lot of just my natural brown hair.. So after tonight I should be more of a true dirty blonde.  In and out of bed.  HA! Just kidding.  I am practically a nun nowadays!

God Bless Canada

What will those wacky Canadians think of next?  Brilliant marketing campaign?  I think so.  My question is... what is the jar of olives for? Oo   Click the thumbnail.

No news here... No news is I guess good news.  Very busy at work... still in a funk.  Meh. 

In A Funk...

I am not sure what it is... I am just in a funk and can't get out of it this morning.  I feel like going for a run but being sick has zapped my energy.  Home to bed sounds nice but I have another 6 hours to go.  Even then I probably won't go to bed right away.  Last night I went through my collection of photo albums and scrapbooks.  I found a really nice picture of me on top of this mountain I had just climbed in Malibu where I was a camp counselor for a week during my senior year.  I looked... happy. 

Anyway... something to make you laugh.

Stop Reading This And Go Vote

Sorry the last couple minutes are blank... but it gets the point across.  If you don't vote you have no right to complain.  And who doesn't love complainers?  Yes, this doofus is our president but wouldn't it be awesome to make him a lame duck?  Either way... if you don't get your vote on today... be sure to be prepared in 2008. 

This is Brittany Hensley and I approve this message.

"Team Jec lost to Team Rogue"

I was told this weekend by my friends, Kirk and Ian that I was "slacking" on my entries.  To this I say "Shut the hell up I am sick."  I was pretty much sick all weekend... thought I was better on Sunday but the night ended and I was still feeling awful.  Went to the doctor last week, received not good news.. blah blah blah.  Life goes on. 

Today has started out not so good.  A contractor that I set up and had hired passed away suddenly over the weekend.  Now I have to go through the process of removing him from the system.  How very sad.  Work is really busy as my boss was out sick on Friday as well.  No one got the message I was out so I had a million voicemails and emails. 

On the brighter side... I AM FINALLY MOVED IN! I moved in to the new place on October 1st and was still going through boxes this weekend.  I got down to my last box, which by the way was filled with Christmas stuff, and realized I was finished.  Stuff is put away, rooms are clean and tidy so I am happy.  I am looking into buying a really nice digital camera.  I have this urge to go on another trip somewhere and I want to be prepared.  Any tips on what I should buy are welcome.  I am thinking about either returning to see Boston again or Seattle.  I don't think I will take anyone else on the trip... I just feel like being alone.  Is that odd?  Wanting to go on a vacation from everyone?  Anyway, must return to work...

I apologize for my grammar - I am not paying attention. 

Kamber & Derek Petty Wedding Photos

Here is a picture of my sister and her new husband Derek.  I am in the process of putting up another album with some of the wedding pictures. 

Libra's Horoscope for Today

Oh boo.  

While your focus has been on the other people in your life lately, thinking completely about your current relationships is not going to be possible today. But this is a good thing -- it's time to get yourself refocused on who you are as an individual. You may be running the risk of losing yourself in the noise of socializing. Ask yourself honestly whether you're working so hard on friendships and relationships in order to avoid working hard on yourself.

On a complete seperate side note... I found a post I did on September 18th that was a pretty bitchy post... it was deleted... Hmm.. good thing I back up all the time... Must change the password I guess. 

Boring Entry for First of the Month

My tummy is upset!  And no, I'm not pregnant.  Very busy at work, lots of stuff to do with a lot of phone calls being answered.  Trying to budget for some personal travel coming could be making me sick... plus Christmas is around the corner.  Tonight I am going to my mom's house to pick up some boxes and then out to dinner with a friend.  Then home to bed... hopefully. 

And here I thought..

...my boring post would be it for the day... Oh no! I found something amazingly funny...

The BEST part... is when he hands out Canadian money.... HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

Happy Halloween!

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP.

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER..

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP..

clappity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and........

The coffin stops.

---

I know! I know! Worst Joke Ever. But it made me smile... Happy Halloween....

Case of the Mondays

My office is currently dark for some reason but it's rather pleasant.  This weekend was relaxing.  Still unpacking - why is this taking me so long?  Well... a few reasons. 

1. I have a lot of boxes and a lot of stuff.
2. Every box I open smells like Kody and his apartment.  It makes me hesitant to open them. Memories come flooding back of my life a few months ago.  Who wants to go through that again?!?
3. My obsession with having everything go into the townhouse neat and organized slows me down.  However, I think this is a good thing.

I did find some time to start uploading pictures that I used to have on here. (Also fixed the bug from the posts below with some help.)  If you look to the right ---> you will see the album list I have started.  The only trip I have up there is Boston from last year - only 10 pictures... I have lots more to go from that trip.  But it's one of my favorites.  My mom is giving me a cd with 251 pictures from the wedding on it.  Hopefully I will find a few good ones to put up here.  Until then.. take a look at the creepy graveyard! 

Free Speech For All

This country is based on the fact that we have free speech.  Just because I voice my opinion that the war in Iraq is wrong DOES NOT mean I am not proud to be an American.  Just because I believe our president is an idiot DOES NOT mean I should go live in France.  It means I am exercising my right to free speech.  Sad to say, but a good portion of this country is ignorant and uneducated or miseducated.  Bush speaks to those people.  I am not completely liberal and I am certainly not completely conservative.  But I do have an opinion and just as I have always done since I was able - I will vote. 

---

John Mayer - "Waiting on the World to Change" 

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Out Sick.

Be back on Monday...

Ow.

I've got a headache the size of Canada and to top it off I forgot my glasses at home. None of the painkillers are working. At this rate I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day.

Headache Haze

Still slightly blinded... but it's okay. I just heard from my mom - my sister is going to be in town overnight on her way to Kauai for her honeymoon. Apparently we are all going out to sushi after work so that should be nice. I can't seem to concentrate on much. Meh.

Hide under a rock...

A vendor, a type of glorified salesman, embarrassed the hell out of me today. After my boss left the conference room they decided to walk right into a director's office. Being that I was far away from his office, I couldn't see them. Ugh. I have a headache...

Nothing - Skip down one...

You turn off the engine,
close the door,
shut and lock the outside,
close the blinds,
take off the glasses, heels and put down the purse,
put the phone away,
turn off the movies, the music and the games,
turn off the people,
close the instant message boxes,
wash the makeup away,
take down the hair,
pull back the blankets,
arrange the pillows,
slide under the covers,
read a book,
eventually turn off the lights...
and you are alone.

Empty house, empty bed, empty life.

Must Laugh.

Tidbit...

I wrote almost a month ago about a position I was interviewing for.  This whole time I just assumed that I missed out and wasn't chosen.  Today I got word that althought they haven't filled the position yet, I am still in the running.  In fact, all the feedback they got from the interviewing panel was really good.  *does a tiny jig*

Slow Start...

This morning was extremely strange.  I kept pushing snooze on my alarm and falling right back to sleep.  This almost never happens and subsequently I was late to work.  In the rush of things I somehow managed to forget my work badge so I was even more late than intended.  I hate being late!!

Anyway, the day has dragged.  It's perfect and sunny here as always and I'm just dreaming of weather!  Give me rain, snow, hail, anything!  I don't care.  Just give me a day that isn't sunny and warm.  Can weather be monotonous?  Stupid California and it's stupid sunshine!