Chris... Can I Borrow Your Wheelchair?

Brittany + No Sleep + Heels + Slippery Sidewalk = Skinned palm x 2 + Bloody & Swollen Lower Leg + Extreme Soreness

 

Yeah, that's right.  I am a gimp.  Well, if I wasn't before... I certainly am now.  I was running (actually, I was walking...) to a very early morning meeting yesterday and the sidewalk was a tad slippery from rain the night before.  I am not sure what exactly happened... but the next thing I know... me and my bags are on the ground.  Thank god no one saw me... skirt askew... ankle strap of my heel torn.. bloody knee... bloody palms... and the meeting was in a half hour.  I picked up my bags almost crying because I was in so much pain... I limped my way to the conference room and attempted to clean myself up while I set the room in order.  Needless to say my leg from the top of my knee to my ankle proceeded to swell up 3 times my other one and I ended up working from home.  What a damn day...

Anyway... I pray that my day goes a bit better than yesterday.  Dior's 2007 Wearable Collection was presented in Paris yesterday.  I went the simple route with picking this dress as my favorite (minus the Koosh Ball stuck to her head...)Also, proof that my style is coming back... I started carrying clutch purses a couple years before they came back... last year I started carrying a 'pocketbook' style purse and what do you know..? It pops up in Dior's collection.  I. Am. Awesome.  Ha~ Just kidding. 

 

Daily Cuteness

LOL.  So AWESOME.  Click here and be prepared to go AWWWWW.  The last picture is the best...

Stronger

A person close to me said today that to compare the person I was 6 months ago and the person I am now... I have changed dramatically.  I am stronger and welcome challenges.  I stick up for myself more than I ever did.  What this change is... I am not sure... I hope it's a good thing.  I still have my moments of being weak... I am extremely afraid that I will fail at this new job.  But I am certainly more prepared... at the very least, I know what I want.  This weekend is filled with studying.  I am looking for quiet.. so hopefully I can find some.  Anyway... enough babbling.. on to the good stuff...

My token Family Guy Clip.  I hate dislike Tom Brady.

Gotta love mainstream media. 

My Chemical Romance - Famous Last Words (Not my favorite song by them... but.. meh..)

And finally... I show a lot of the new(er) music that I like... Here is something old.  Seeing as Led Zeppelin was "before" the YouTube time.. (I know.. crazy... but it's possible)...  This is set to clips of Aragorn and Arwen...?  I've only watched a couple of the movies... Still it's pretty and the song is wonderful.  I am off for the weekend.   

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

And I feel fine...  Okay, maybe not so much.  Click here to read why my day has started off on a not so good note.

So over the weekend the IT group decided to 'fix' or something the issue.  I guess this means they decided to resend every single meeting invitation from every single calendar... Meaning hundreds of emails... I have a meeting invitation I send out to over 200+ people... which means I am going to get accept and decline notices from 200+ people.  That's just one series.  I also manage calendars of 5 different people... Meaning each meeting series x 5.  This is going to be a very long day. 

Anyway, I didn't watch the Oscars but I am catching up on my dose of Oscars fashion.  Not surprisingly my favorite dress was a Nina Ricci design worn by Reese Witherspoon. 

And here is a funny clip from the show... Hopefully it stays posted on YouTube.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

 

Why is it that when you start to look in a mirror you become your harshest critic?  I sat for a bit looking into a mirror.  At first I saw tired blue eyes... the whites had been grayed out with pain and fatigue... then I saw these mysterious lines that seem to have popped up over night.  I can't have wrinkles... I wish I was still 5!  I get silly and self-deprecating and it's so very sad.  I don't know a single person that likes everything about themselves... especially the way they look.  But at what point do you accept your flaws?  As a girl and as a person that has gone through many... many.. health issues... there hasn't been a single day where I am not concerned with how I look.  I can be my own harshest critic but I have had a few people fill that spot for me just fine.  I understand it's hard not to judge someone by looks alone... but will it always matter?  At some point  my hair will go gray... at some point my face will be covered in wrinkles... I suppose that if I am happy... none of it should it matter.. But it does.  I know it does, you know it does, everyone knows that it does.  Some days it's just exhausting to be so concerned.  I have never been comfortable in my own skin.  I don't want to be one of those people that needs another person to validate their existence.  I don't want another person to be my sole source of positive thoughts about me.  I should be able to create them on my own.  Even if they aren't true... It's late.  I should go to bed.

Can't Wait

It's the weekend!  I am not sure why I am looking forward to it so much.  I am not really doing much of anything... but maybe that's why I am so excited... Hmm.. anyway, I have no news.  No news is good news - sort of.  So now I can make my really long post full of videos, half of which no one will like.  Ha!  Have a good weekend! 

God I can't wait to be a mom.

Why is it the songs I like are not available with the original video but with Final Fantasy clips? 

Time for a pretty song...

No video for this song... just the music...

I found another documentary I want to watch.  My Mother's Garden

Alright, my mind checked out after I woke up this morning... Back on Monday~

I Love Ellen

Who doesn't?  I probably won't watch the Oscars but I will be looking for the Red Carpet Arrivals... Yeah... I am superficial like that.... Okay.. I am out for good!

Apples and Grapes

"Women are like apples on trees.  The best ones are at the top of the tree.  Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.  Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.  The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.  They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men... men are like a fine wine.  They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."

Breathtaking Day

I hate California.  I want rain.  I want cold.  I don't want sunny crappy days with crappy warmth and crappy clear skies.  Give me frostbite and wind chill factor.  Give me snow and constantly wet feet.  I want it all.  I want to gladly break out my wool coats and my warm scarves (some knitted by me)... I want to walk through the rain puddles and get full use out of my awesome umbrella.  Please!  GIVE ME RAIN!!!

I am running on very little sleep.  Give me a break please.  Here is a picture of sunny crappy Malibu, California.

Stumble

Another early Tuesday that is shaping up to be a long one.  I didn't sleep much last night and probably won't sleep much tonight either.  I have one more meeting to attend and then class tonight.  I don't have much to say today either... here is some music...  maybe tomorrow I will be back on track...

John Mayer and his awesome facial expressions...

Busy/RainyDay

I am super busy today and don't have much time to put a better post together.  Anyway, I need a laugh.

Beauty In The Breakdown

I think one of my flaws is that I think too much.  I analyze everything.  I was sitting here after finishing up a bunch of stuff and I started listening to that damn song.  Drink up baby down... are you in or are you out... leave your things behind... cuz it's all going off without you...  Basically at what point do I let go of all my mistrusts and let down my wall?  I can say forever how I'm not ready but really... am I ever going to be?  This isn't a dress rehearsal... this is it.  I am not quite sure if I believe in the whole heaven/hell/afterlife thing... I certainly hope things could end so perfectly that I end up with all my friends and family.  But... what a sad life to lead if one does not let the people that matter in.  I am far too weak for the emotions that I have been feeling lately.  Check my vitals... I've been held hostage... A captive of this passive shell... Give me gravity... give me clarity... give me something to rely on...

It is that weakness... where you just want a guy to stand with you... lean back against and be held by him.  Let go... and allow someone else to carry your world for a little bit... That weakness scares me... but I think I am ready for it again.

Sick...

I came home from work early because I am not feeling good.. My boss basically shoo'd me out of the office.  Ugh.  I feel horrible.  Here is something to make you laugh.  Have a good weekend.

Triple Dog Foul

So not wanting this day to begin.  So wanting this day to end.  *mumbles something incoherent about going back to bed* 

But don't forget...

Happy Valentine's Day

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. -- Bertrand Russell

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. -- Anonymous

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything. -- Katherine Hepburn

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. -- Albert Einstein

I read that if you don't have sex for a year, you can actually become "revirginized". -- Charlotte from Sex and the City

Every Tuesday

I was fairly sad/quiet last night.  I am not sure what was going through my head.  I looked through pictures I had all over my computer... past, present and wishful future.  Even now, I sit here... look down at my desk and just listen to myself breathe.  Why is that?  It's not a really interesting sound... lol.  I turn off the sound in my head and just listen.  Maybe I am just tired?  I don't know.  A lot on my mind?  I was trying to pin down one thought while I was doing it again.. and I couldn't come up with anything.  It's like you get to a point where there are so many thoughts in your head... so many balls up in the air (no jokes please~)... that you can't pick one out of the bunch to focus on. 

Maybe this is all tied to sleep?  It seems like the more sleep I get the more off my days are.  If I only get a few hours, my days are very clear and I get through them easier.  You would think it would be the opposite.  Or maybe I am just missing something out of my day.  That could always be it. 

Anyway, I realized last night that every Tuesday from now until at least May will be a very long day.  The meeting that I had this morning is a global conference and starts really early.  Fun!  I guess for now... I just have to get all my ducks in a row...

 

Hey, it could be worse...

 

My Weekend

Nice weekend, huh?

Woohoo

I know... I know... everyone hates this song.  But it's a happy song and I like it.  Shush all of you.

Things are good here.  Tomorrow is going to be the longest day ever.  I have to be at work at 6:45am and I won't see my bed/house until 10:30pm.  Well, maybe earlier than that because I have an exam.  Alright... I hear the ding of my inbox flying so I better go.  Enjoy the video - you know you like it!

I Want To Be A Wife

Some girls would be offended... I am so not.  Lol.

I Can Do This

My first high level meeting finished out and I couldn't be happier.  Some minor bumps... but I think I impressed people all around.  Heck.. I even impressed myself.  I can handle much more than I think I am capable of.  I got a little lost during the thrombosis events and Guillian-Barre Syndrome cases...  but.. it's okay.. I am learning.. and that's all that matters.  Anyway, I am off for the weekend.  It has been a long week.  I am floating again though...

*brushes off shoulder*

What I Want For Valentine's Day

Among other things...  

Yeah... that's right... Some nice comfy jammies.  Okay and maybe someone to share the night with... Hey... I still have a heart...  But in all honesty... I have never had a good Valentine's Day.  Meh.  <3

What The Hell Is A Lake Effect?

I still have no idea!

Anyway, enough of what I don't understand.  Today is steadily busy.  I keep zoning in and out though.. I think that has to do with my inconsistent sleep.  I *MUST* get sleep tonight though.. I have a very big meeting tomorrow... kind of scared.  Very high level meeting with a bunch of terminology I won't know... nor will I understand it.  But it's okay.  Tomorrow is Friday.  That should make it better. 

Another Glorious Day

Yes, it has just started.. but still... it's cloudy, cold and hopefully going to rain soon.  How much better can it get???  Sometime this weekend I will be going out to Gladstone's for my friend Kelly's birthday.  I am crossing my fingers hoping it will rain.  Other than that... not much news to report.  I have to study for my exam coming up next week.  I think I am sort of ready... well I should be ready after this weekend.  Anyway... here is a little music to soothe your ears...

Michael Nyman is one of my favorite classical composers. 

True Commitment

Astronaut Arrested! - *Edit* Read 2nd page, 2nd paragraph...

Dude... I don't care what people say... that's commitment right there...  She's crazy for sure... but damn...

So Happy I Could Cry

I am currently in my new position.  I had a one on one meeting with my new boss.  It really couldn't have gone better... he is completely down to earth and someone I am sure I will come to love working for.  He was just plain and simple.. do whatever you like.. just keep me in the loop.  So far so good.  I can't believe my luck as of late.  I was walking into work and I just couldn't believe I was going up to the 4th floor of the main building at Amgen.  The CEO of the company is on 5th floor. 

I just can't express enough how great this company is.  Forbes Magazine named Amgen it's Company of the Year for 2004 and labeled them a Biotech Behemoth.  Their mission is to serve patients... but they treat their employees so well.  Most here are not stuck up on themselves... like my new boss is wearing jeans and has one of the most important meetings of his entire job today.  Anyway, enough gushing about Amgen.  I am getting settled in and savoring the few days of quiet until I start taking on more. 

Colts Win - I Know Football

Let Go

I listened to this song on and off most of the night.  For some reason, I never realized how powerfully emotional this song is.   I almost became obsessive about it... hitting replay.  It hurts... but yet I keep touching it.   I imagined my life the past few years like I am on one of those airport moving walkways... images flashing before me of the events but all I see is the light reflected on my face.  Good and bad, refreshing and humiliating.  I don't feel like crying.  I don't feel like smiling.  I think far too much.  My chest feels like it's about to explode or collapse.  There is beauty in the breakdown.

Last Day

Today is my last day in my current job.  Yesterday I said goodbye to my boss, Geoff because he wouldn't be in the office.  He made tears come to my eyes and I couldn't even say anything back like Thank you, or I will miss working for you.  I might just write him an email later.  This weekend is going to be pretty quiet as I must study.  After my emotional post last night... I think I am going to keep today light. 

Some people might find this annoying... but since I can relate to the whole uncontrollable, feet kicking, and tummy aching giggles... I think it is cute. 

I love Linken Park... something about guys in t-shirts and jeans that is so simple yet so hot.  Throw in a hoodie and I'm good to go.  Oh yeah,  the song is good too.

I realize most will hate this song.  BUT... it's Friday, it's payday, and I'll probably dance around the house to this as I am cleaning tonight.  (Exciting I know.. but if I get it done tonight... I can play the rest of the weekend.)

"Even the distance feels so near."

Have a great weekend... I probably won't post on Monday because it's my orientation day for my new job... so I'll eventually be back. 

One last comment...

GO BEARS! <3

Just please dear god beat Pretty Boy Manning!

Really Big Smile

All last night and this morning I have had this song stuck in my head.  It's not the best song... I am doing really good for myself... Anyway, I didn't get much sleep again.. but it's okay.  I still feel good.. I can sleep on the weekend (yeah right!)... I just realized that today is my last day with my boss, Geoff.  He has been one of the best I have had and I will miss him terribly but on to new things!